just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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