Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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