"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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