I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
