Welp...herpes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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