Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
