So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
