you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
