he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we made out on top of his cat.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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