i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will be naked everywhere
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
