I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
