I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
