its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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