ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
