i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
