Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
