I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
