The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
