I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
