new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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