i barfeds in our rink
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
