That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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