i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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