I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Randomize
