Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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