I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
