big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My feet surprised me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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