I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
