Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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