i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
