So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
