Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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