my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
