i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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