sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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