I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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