I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Randomize
