I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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