we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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