Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
