go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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