You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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