end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
