My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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