He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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