Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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