I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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