thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
