I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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