Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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