SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
