Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
