It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
