May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
